There’s a poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay about fruit and love, a short, elegant little piece in an anthology I have. I remember the girl who gave me this book, Miranda, a college roommate at Bryn Mawr back in the fall of 2000. I remember Miranda as a lively and passionate person, with bright shining eyes and a great deal of energy. She gave me the poetry anthology, along with her exuberant love of St. Vincent Millay. To this day, I can’t read these poems without remembering the excitement with which Miranda pressed the book into my open hands.
I was painting apples recently at my friend’s farm, and the first line of this poem rose unbidden in my mind. “Never, never may the fruit be plucked from the bough…” it was still freshly embedded in my memory after all this time, even though I hadn’t opened the book in decades.
The poem speaks its gentle wisdom: Live in the moment. Live, and love, in the moment, enjoying the fruits at hand. Now is all we have. It’s all we ever have. Don’t try to hoard up any extra sweetness for later. Only what your belly can hold.
St. Vincent Millay refers specifically to romantic love, but I can’t seem to separate that out from all the other ways of loving in my life. Children, friends, food, nature, a moment of beauty. And yes, of course, romantic love. All of it is to be experienced in the moment. Not “someday.”
It feels comforting when I remember to be present, to stay in the moment. Especially this year. It feels so difficult, and almost pointless, to make any plans. What will next month hold? Will my kids still be in school in-person? Will stores run out of toilet paper again? Will someone in my family get sick? Will people continue to buy paintings? Will my house get flooded? Will the planet be ok?
The global pandemic and recent severe weather events have shaken up my sense of security. I used to take so many things for granted. It’s all so overwhelming, it’s tempting to spin out into endless worries.
Instead of worrying, I paint.
I paint the fruit where it hangs.
Mixing colors in my friend’s little grove of apple trees…
work in progress
“Apples , ready to be plucked…” oil on canvas mounted on board, 12x9.5 inches
Finished. I think…